How I’ve learned self-love from photographing others

I’ve been photographing models and clients now for 9 months, and I’ve noticed a big leap in my body-positivity journey. I was wondering why, and once I started dissecting it, I think I have a few answers I want to share with you.

Everyone has flaws.

Even professional, full-time models have pimples, stretch marks, cellulite etc. Nobody is perfect, so why hate yourself for not being perfect when it’s a completely unachievable goal? Also, everyone’s idea of perfection differs so even if you were to achieve someone’s ideal, you might not be another’s. Sometimes models wish they had a flatter tummy or a bigger butt, but other models wish they had a softer tummy and a smaller butt. Which leads me to my second point.

Everyone has insecurities 

The most beautiful models visit my studio and even they find something wrong with themselves. It’s astounding to me that girls can complain about their “fat thighs” when they have super skinny and defined legs. This made me think. We always think “oh if I just lost 5kg I’d be happier”. Well the girl who’s 5 kg lighter than you might think that too. You will never be completely satisfied. So maybe we shouldn’t change our bodies to gain self-acceptance, we should change our mindsets

Enjoy what you have now

Most likely right now you think there’s something wrong with the way you look. But in 20 years you’d wish you had been happier with the way you look right now! Strut your stuff, flaunt what you’ve got because your body is changing. And I’m not saying you’ll just get uglier from now on, you’ll just be different. Beauty isn’t bound by size or age, it’s all in your mind. If you feel beautiful, you’ll be beautiful. Some people I’ve worked with aren’t the perfect beauty ideal but they radiated self-love and confidence, and that made them some of the most beautiful people I’ve photographed.

So don’t ever feel like you should first lose x amount of weight, or tone down x body part before you can wear that dress or hell, even book me for a shoot. Doing a sexy photoshoot will capture all your sexy sides and will make you appreciate all the wonders your body has to offer you. You only have one body, so be kind to it. Thank it for being there for you. Thank your legs for taking you places. Thank your tummy for keeping you warm and protected. Thank your sexual parts for giving you pleasure. Thank your butt for letting you sit comfortably. It might sound silly but your body is wonderful, and it does so much for you. 

Before you want to say something mean about yourself, ask “would I say this to my friend?”. If the answer is no, don’t say it to yourself either. You deserve better than that. Hype yourself up like you’re a drunk girl you’ve just met in a club bathroom at 3am.

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