Recently, I saw a post from another boudoir photographer joking that you could skip therapy and just do a boudoir shoot instead. While I get the humor, I don’t actually find it funny, because this idea can be quite harmful.
As someone who’s spent a lot of time in therapy myself dealing with body image issues, self-harm, trauma from negative experiences, I know firsthand that a photoshoot, no matter how empowering, is not a substitute for real therapeutic support.
I’ve had clients come in expecting that a boudoir session would “fix” their self-esteem or magically resolve deep-seated issues. And while it can be an incredibly positive, confidence-boosting experience to see yourself through someone else’s lens (to feel glamorous, to celebrate your body in new ways) it’s not a miracle cure. I don’t want to set that expectation.
Therapy is a vital, professional space for working through mental health challenges.
If you’re dealing with diagnosed conditions like trauma or deep-seated body image struggles, a photoshoot can even feel confronting.
To be very honest: I’ve had a client who didn’t feel happy with her photos at all. Not because they weren’t beautiful, but because she wasn’t ready to see herself that way.
It’s okay to need more support than a camera can provide.
So yes, let’s absolutely celebrate how boudoir can be a joyful, empowering journey. But let’s never pretend it can replace real therapy.
I’m a huge advocate for professional help when you need it, and a photoshoot is a wonderful complement, not a substitute. Let’s keep it real and celebrate each step of the journey for what it is.
If you find yourself truly struggling with your self-image, your sexuality, or your mental wellbeing, please know you don’t have to carry that weight alone. Reach out to your general practitioner (huisarts)because they can refer you to the right mental health support in the Dutch GGZ system.
If you need urgent support, you can also contact:
- 113 Zelfmoordpreventie (24/7): http://www.113.nl or call 0800-0113
- MIND Korrelatie (for anonymous help and advice): http://www.mindkorrelatie.nl
- For international readers: findahelpline.com, which connects you to local hotlines and resources worldwide.
Taking that step is an act of strength, not weakness. Therapy and professional guidance can offer you the solid foundation you deserve and creative experiences like photography can be a beautiful complement on your journey.
Shout-out to my friend, Nereida Lopez
Before we wrap up, I want to give a little shout-out to my dear friend who’s just started her journey as an intimacy and relationship coach.
She’s not a therapist, but she’s absolutely amazing at helping people build confidence in their relationships, sexuality, and self-love. If you’re looking for that kind of supportive middle ground, someone to guide you when you don’t necessarily need therapy but could use a confidence boost and work on yourself alongside something like a photoshoot, she’s someone I’d highly recommend.
I’m so proud of her and excited to see the wonderful work she’ll do.
Models featured in this blogpost, top to bottom: Pilea-Joanna, Amy, Nereida
