You might glance at my photos and think, “Wow, these young ladies look amazing! I wish I could’ve had a shoot like that in my twenties.” Or perhaps you’re grappling with body image issues after going through life’s ups and downs like pregnancy, illness, or tough times. Looking back, you might remember your youthful body with nostalgia, only to then realize you didn’t even fully appreciate it back then.
But guess what? Getting older doesn’t mean we can’t explore new things and feel sexy in our own skin!
You may read this and not take me all too seriously, as I’m 25 as I write this. So no, truth be told, I can’t fully understand what it’s like, to see your body go through changes that society doesn’t appreciate all that much, through aging, a process we have no control over. Yet, I’ve gained quite a bit of weight in the last few years, and learning to love my body now it’s so different has been challenging at times.
Especially because I suddenly don’t see my body represented positively in the media as much anymore, I am fatter than most of my friends, I don’t get approached by interested suitors the same way. My body didn’t just change, my whole place in society’s “hierarchy of sexiness” changed.
And it took some suffering and work to get through that, to swallow that pill, that I’m not skinny and admired because of it anymore. Learning to love our bodies at every stage of life involves embracing the beauty of our imperfections and celebrating the resilience that comes with experience.
One of my self-appointed bragging points at parties was my age. I went to fetish parties etc from age 18, when the average age is usually around 30-50. So I “jokingly” called myself the “baby”, I liked being the young one at the parties, to surprise people when I told them my age.
But age is not the smartest characteristic to link our identity to, as it’s guaranteed to be temporary. Youth and beauty aren’t the same thing, I now believe that in many ways we just get more beautiful with age. I maybe wasn’t too happy when I found my first gray hair at 24, but I believe many people look very beautiful with gray hair. So why wouldn’t I be included in that group?
Within these transitions, there lies an opportunity for self-discovery and empowerment.
Stepping out of our comfort zone can lead to transformative experiences and a deeper understanding of our desires. Whether it’s trying out a new kink, experimenting with different forms of self-expression like a red lipstick or a daring outfit, each step we take towards exploration is a testament to our growth.
I feel that embracing our bodies and sexuality as we age is not about conforming to societal standards or chasing after an unattainable ideal, like it perhaps was when we were in our teens and twenties. Instead, it’s about honoring our unique journey and allowing ourselves the freedom to authentically express who we are. By being curious and kind to ourselves, by staying playful and curious, we can unlock new levels of confidence and pleasure as we navigate the ups and downs of getting older.
